I like you so much.
You make me feel sane, which is much more of an accomplishment than it should be.
I have spent the week rattling against my "stay at home mom"-ness. Do you guys do that? I just cannot find meaning in the relentless onslaught of dishes and cooking and carpooling. To the point that I am crying by 10 am, a sure sign of trauma, just thinking about all those dishes and meals and carpools. I spent 2 hours doing dishes the other day. Seriously. 2 hours. I almost died. Except I didn't.
I did cry though, before I started the washing. And there might have been a bit of journal writing and a prayer said for good measure. And then I thought about what I would have liked to do if I wasn't doing dishes (or dreading doing dishes.) What did I feel like I was missing out on, to prompt all these tears and disillusionment?
My answer was super lame and super wise.
I want to do something fun.
Hmm. Fun. For me, fun usually involves other people, and laughing and talking and ....loud music.
Hmm...loud music is fun.
And where there is loud music, there is dancing.
And where there is loud music and dancing, there is a...
DANCE PARTY!! WHOO HOO!
I decided to have a dance party doing the dishes.
I totally did. I cranked up the "Discover Weekly" list on Spotify and shook my booty while I scrubbed and soaked. For 2 hours.
Now, was it the best party I've ever had? Absolutely not. Was it the best time I ever had doing dishes on a Tuesday morning? Totally. Except for that time I was washing dishes at my parents house in high school with that cute boy and we ended up getting in a soap suds fight and ....Oh, sorry. The correct answer is "Best. Dance Party Dish Washing. Ever."
At any rate, the time passed quickly and before I knew it I had
So, since then, I have been thinking.
What if everything that happens to us is a gift?
Even dirty dishes, and car accidents, and breakups we didn't see coming? Along with unexpected birthday flowers and loosing 80 lbs after being overweight our whole life? What if sometimes it just takes an enormous amount of creativity to "unwrap" the gift? (not unlike that stiff plastic they use to keep small children away from their toys at Christmas requiring intricate razor blade and blowtorch skills to open, all while said small child is reaching and wailing wildly for said toy. Not that anything like that has ever happened to me)
I was raised with the idea that everything we experience is for our good. But what if it is more than just an experience? What if it all really is a Gift? The capital letter kind that shapes and molds our lives in ways we could never imagine. The kind of Gift that pushes us towards become who we most want to be? To the things that define us. To the outcomes we would most value at the end of this little life.
I have been chewing on this idea for a number of years, and it has changed how I look at the things that make me cry. If I try really hard, and think and pray about it, there is always a golden egg there in the mud. The harder the experience and the harder the egg is to find, the bigger the impact for good on my life. I promise. I have tried this over and over and over again. I have always found a Gift.
Give it a shot. Look at the crappiest thing in your life and try to find the gift. It will be hard to see. It will take time and a change in perspective and perhaps a prayer or two or twenty. It will take a strong heart and a stout belief in your own worth. But it's there. Just waiting for you to find it and be filled with wonder at how things in our strange little lives work together to weave such a beautiful tapestry.
Well that's all I've got for today. But stay tuned, because next week I'm gonna tell you guys about a bunch of stuff you don't know about me.
I know, right?
I can't wait either!
And please, please tell me if you have found any Golden eggs in the mud? Any Gifts. I would love, love, love to hear those stories.
Talk to you soon,